Looks like Britney isn’t ready to go out on tour just yet, but that’s not stopping her from going on a tour VIRTUALLY. She’s shooting footage to be played (presumably) on a big screen during Madonna’s concerts.

“There is footage being shot of Britney some time this week in conjunction with Madonna’s upcoming (Sticky & Sweet) tour,” Madonna’s publicist, Liz Rosenberg, said in an e-mail Tuesday to The Associated Press. “That is all the information I have available. The rest is `a secret.’”

I can’t what for holograms. That why I can have Britney give me a virtual lap dance in my apartment. No wait… I don’t want that. make that Jessica Alba… wait. She’s got a kid now… um… damn it! My brain hurts. I can’t think with Britney’s headlights staring me in the face. Must have been cold that day.